Dating in the Bible? - Page 2

LFJC · 10-01-2008, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snark

Marriage in the modern mesopotemic region is often arranged, and dating in the conventional sense is a luxury observed only by more western cultures. I wouldn't be surprised if marriages were more arranged etc. in the time the bible was written since I can't imagine it changing from dating to the way it is today.

Exactly - and in the time the Bible was written and also during the time Christ lived, a "woman" was often married by age 12. Remember , back then most humans only lived into their 30's or 40s.

Duo · 10-01-2008, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TommyStrand

Using skittles as an example is not valid imo. Why? Because the bible does tell us about food and drink - how you can eat anything if it is done with gratitude and thanksgiving, just not blood, and from strangled animals, nor get drunk.

And the bible do tell us about love, about man and women. And the thing is MARRIAGE. IT didnt NEED to tell us about dating or girlfriends/boyfriends, because it told us what we should do. God doesnt have to go into every specific trend that man makes, only give the info on what to do.

To say that we need to date because we need to try and fail, in finding out sole mate is not logical to me. I will live for God. If I want to marry I will find a girl who is also living for God, and not wasting time on looking for a mate when she should be living for God.

Imo physical contact before marriage is not important at all, and I dont see why it should be neccessary. I think going steady before marriage created a false relationship with attributes between them that are not natural. IMO. Please keep trying to persuade me. I am not dead set on this yet =)

Hey, here's some great advice.

Not everyone is like you. So, don't worry about me, I'll continue to eat my skittles and date people while you do your thing.

In the end God will ask me what did I do in life, and I will reply that I met the most fantastic girl and decided I wanted to share my life with her, and so I made her life more enjoyable each and every day, and that my favorite flavor of skittles is Grape. And his Answer will probably be "That's my favorite flavor too."

Btw why would I try to persuade you? That's like running into a wall, which is not healthy imo.

TommyStrand · 10-01-2008, 05:50 PM

Nothing you said in that post was relevant to our subject. You basically said, "well uh, I live as I want anyway". Well, I know you do. I did not say you didn't.

What flavour is Gods favourite is not something that is written in the bible, so I won't comment on that. He does say something about what He likes though, so I can say that:

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." Psalm 51:17

solimor · 10-08-2008, 02:42 PM

Tommy you must understand that at the time the book was written all marriages was arranged by birth, it wasn't a free world as the one we have today, it was a father chose to find a husband for his daughter and another father Honer to accept for his Son.

Muslim world is still there and it not really in a good way.

You can live you life as you want but a word of advise, Being friends doesn't give understand off what you going into, I understand the seek for a soul-mate and I fund my, I new when was still friends, but we still needed to take small steps, (well small but fast). You truly don't no a person before you live whit her/him, and understand how its to be around and respect each other 24/7. If you want to hold back on sex whit marage that's fin, but showing you care and love a person whit a Hug/small Kiss is not wrong in this sens.

Last tip I'm not saying you should test whit a new ever week, but when you find the one and you feel it in you heart, take small steps, get to know each other and show you care, show you want here in you life just as you wish to hold God there, because you not complete before you have here, and this is a better path then marriage whit not understanding really who she/he is, and then ending up whit divorcees and breaking you word that you staded inform of God

well just my tugths on it, and a Tip from someone that fund his soul-mate, and someone that is used to the same culture of Dating (bad word for the Norwegian way but its the best choice in English)

TommyStrand · 10-09-2008, 03:21 PM

Not all marriages was arranged like that Solimor. And the Bible is old in it's age yes, but not in its message. I am certain that Paul who was a grown man and travelling around didnt have to come home and ask for his fathers assistance to find him a wife - if he he wanted one (which he didnt though

)... The Bible also tells us that families will be divided because of Him. Many practiced the traditions - at the writing of the OT - to have arranged marriages, but that does not mean it was Gods will. The Bible simply wrote down what happened. It never says either that God wanted to people to marry, and that one of them didn't want to.

I guess I don't think I have to learn how to live with a girl before I marry her. I trust - and think any Christian should - God to lead you to the one you are meant to be with. And then you don't need any practice first to see if you're meant for each other.

Super-glad for you that you found your soul mate my friend

Toss a prayer that I do too eh

Lewz · 10-09-2008, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TommyStrand

I guess I don't think I have to learn how to live with a girl before I marry her. I trust - and think any Christian should - God to lead you to the one you are meant to be with. And then you don't need any practice first to see if you're meant for each other.

Heh maybe this is why the divorce rate is over 50 percent lol, jp...kinda

solimor · 10-10-2008, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TommyStrand

Not all marriages was arranged like that Solimor. And the Bible is old in it's age yes, but not in its message. I am certain that Paul who was a grown man and travelling around didnt have to come home and ask for his fathers assistance to find him a wife - if he he wanted one (which he didnt though

)... The Bible also tells us that families will be divided because of Him. Many practiced the traditions - at the writing of the OT - to have arranged marriages, but that does not mean it was Gods will. The Bible simply wrote down what happened. It never says either that God wanted to people to marry, and that one of them didn't want to.

I guess I don't think I have to learn how to live with a girl before I marry her. I trust - and think any Christian should - God to lead you to the one you are meant to be with. And then you don't need any practice first to see if you're meant for each other.

Super-glad for you that you found your soul mate my friend

Toss a prayer that I do too eh

Living whit a person is a step by step program to respect each other, being new married i for one would like to know abit of that program. I believe one of the reason the bible doesn't speak much of it was how it was done back in does cultural, just as its done differently today. know resisting the flesh temptation is one thing, but not showing you care and be abel to learn to live whit each other is difference in my eyes.

Maybe God lead me to my soul mate is sure was random, but I strongly believe we are where we are today because we worked together given and taken, it was some small step but fast for us(a child do so) but my point being even if God give you a map as well as light up you soul mate, you 2 still need to learned to live whit each other, and discuss various priorities and so on.

The divorce rate is high because people don't care and marriage to fast, and unfortly a lot of "bad" marriage is based in your tugth pather that this is what god wants, but they aint ready. sure it can work for you, but why not be safe rather then sorry when its you partner in life and probley mother/father to your children

Kristopher · 12-03-2008, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TommyStrand

Not all marriages was arranged like that Solimor. And the Bible is old in it's age yes, but not in its message. I am certain that Paul who was a grown man and travelling around didnt have to come home and ask for his fathers assistance to find him a wife - if he he wanted one (which he didnt though

)... The Bible also tells us that families will be divided because of Him. Many practiced the traditions - at the writing of the OT - to have arranged marriages, but that does not mean it was Gods will. The Bible simply wrote down what happened. It never says either that God wanted to people to marry, and that one of them didn't want to.

I guess I don't think I have to learn how to live with a girl before I marry her. I trust - and think any Christian should - God to lead you to the one you are meant to be with. And then you don't need any practice first to see if you're meant for each other.

Super-glad for you that you found your soul mate my friend

Toss a prayer that I do too eh

It's a very good thing that you are asking these questions first TommyStrand.

If you're looking for counsel, then here is what I have to offer:

Ignore modern western ideas of "dating" and "living together" as a means to get to know someone. Focus on knowing Jesus Christ, and run towards Him as fast and as hard as you can. Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face and the things of Earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. The ability to live singly for a lifetime is a gift given by God, and the people who are gifted in that way (I believe) can focus so much more of their attention and energy into pleasing God and doing His work. If you get married, you get distracted - I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all; I'm married, with a kid on the way! Both paths are extremely rewarding, but it is better for a man to remain single, as Paul mentions in his first letter to the Corinthians.

If the idea of living alone for the rest of your life doesn't strike you that you have that gift, then what you need to do is as you are running towards Jesus as fast as you can, turn to your left and your right. If you find any ladies there running near you, then pull them to your side and say "Hey! Let's run together

"

I don't know if you've heard the triangle analogy, but here it is: Imagine that you, your lady-to-be, and God all form a 3-pointed triangle. Notice that if you and your lady both get closer to God, you also automatically get closer to each other. Also, notice that if you and your lady get closer to each other at the bottom of the triangle, you don't automatically get closer to God. So even after you've found someone who is running with you, don't forget that your focus should remain on running the course towards Him.

LFJC · 01-20-2009, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TommyStrand

I guess I don't think I have to learn how to live with a girl before I marry her. I trust - and think any Christian should - God to lead you to the one you are meant to be with. And then you don't need any practice first to see if you're meant for each other.

God puts in front of you what you should find but he isnt out there "providing wives" for people. You have to go out, get to know people, and explore their personalities to see if you are compatible. The parameters of this "get to know you" period can be anything the two of you want. Call it dating or friendship but the goal is the same : to see if this is the person for you.

You can set all kinds of physical limitations or have none at all. But if you think you're going to find THE one magical person on a whim on your first try, well, I think the odds are astronomically against that. Sure it happens for some people , but the cast vast majority it doesnt.

Dating doesnt HAVE to be about physical gratification and I think saying "just trust that God will provide a person for me" is a mistake. He mau have a plan for you, but its up to you to meet, socialize with and , for lack of a better term, win her over.

Londie · 01-20-2009, 12:35 PM

I think we have to put forth SOME effort on our own for finding a wife/husband. We can't just be lazy, for lack of a better term, and expect him to hand us every single thing. He does that a lot of times for us any way, but it should never just be "expected" of Him.

I also don't think that there is just ONE single person we are meant to be with either. God can put a compatible person in front of us, but its up to us not to screw that up. Sometimes, people get it right with the first person they date, but more often than not - they don't. I see nothing wrong with dating in general though, its the premarital sex that I don't agree with.

10-01-2008, 05:50 PM	#13 (permalink)
TommyStrand Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Sandnes, Norway Posts: 151 My Photos: (0)	Re: Dating in the Bible? Nothing you said in that post was relevant to our subject. You basically said, "well uh, I live as I want anyway". Well, I know you do. I did not say you didn't. What flavour is Gods favourite is not something that is written in the bible, so I won't comment on that. He does say something about what He likes though, so I can say that: "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." Psalm 51:17

10-08-2008, 02:42 PM	#14 (permalink)
solimor Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Norway Posts: 32 My Photos: (0)	Re: Dating in the Bible? Tommy you must understand that at the time the book was written all marriages was arranged by birth, it wasn't a free world as the one we have today, it was a father chose to find a husband for his daughter and another father Honer to accept for his Son. Muslim world is still there and it not really in a good way. You can live you life as you want but a word of advise, Being friends doesn't give understand off what you going into, I understand the seek for a soul-mate and I fund my, I new when was still friends, but we still needed to take small steps, (well small but fast). You truly don't no a person before you live whit her/him, and understand how its to be around and respect each other 24/7. If you want to hold back on sex whit marage that's fin, but showing you care and love a person whit a Hug/small Kiss is not wrong in this sens. Last tip I'm not saying you should test whit a new ever week, but when you find the one and you feel it in you heart, take small steps, get to know each other and show you care, show you want here in you life just as you wish to hold God there, because you not complete before you have here, and this is a better path then marriage whit not understanding really who she/he is, and then ending up whit divorcees and breaking you word that you staded inform of God well just my tugths on it, and a Tip from someone that fund his soul-mate, and someone that is used to the same culture of Dating (bad word for the Norwegian way but its the best choice in English)

10-09-2008, 03:21 PM	#15 (permalink)
TommyStrand Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Sandnes, Norway Posts: 151 My Photos: (0)	Re: Dating in the Bible? Not all marriages was arranged like that Solimor. And the Bible is old in it's age yes, but not in its message. I am certain that Paul who was a grown man and travelling around didnt have to come home and ask for his fathers assistance to find him a wife - if he he wanted one (which he didnt though )... The Bible also tells us that families will be divided because of Him. Many practiced the traditions - at the writing of the OT - to have arranged marriages, but that does not mean it was Gods will. The Bible simply wrote down what happened. It never says either that God wanted to people to marry, and that one of them didn't want to. I guess I don't think I have to learn how to live with a girl before I marry her. I trust - and think any Christian should - God to lead you to the one you are meant to be with. And then you don't need any practice first to see if you're meant for each other. Super-glad for you that you found your soul mate my friend Toss a prayer that I do too eh Last edited by TommyStrand; 10-09-2008 at 03:22 PM. Reason: typo

01-20-2009, 12:35 PM	#20 (permalink)
Londie Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 76 My Photos: (0)	Re: Dating in the Bible? I think we have to put forth SOME effort on our own for finding a wife/husband. We can't just be lazy, for lack of a better term, and expect him to hand us every single thing. He does that a lot of times for us any way, but it should never just be "expected" of Him. I also don't think that there is just ONE single person we are meant to be with either. God can put a compatible person in front of us, but its up to us not to screw that up. Sometimes, people get it right with the first person they date, but more often than not - they don't. I see nothing wrong with dating in general though, its the premarital sex that I don't agree with. __________________ "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."