Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline

Lewz · 10-05-2008, 01:05 PM

Should we as Christians, spank/hit/beat/whoop/laythesmackdown, on our children when there acting up. As a product of spanking and occasionally "THE BELT", I don't have to much issue with physcially discipling children. I think there is a line btw disciplining and beating you kids and it shouldn't be crossed. How do you guys feel about it? If you believe in the above, would you treat a son and daughter alike? Is there some acts that should never be done? Etc Etc

Mr. Harris · 10-05-2008, 10:38 PM

I will suggest the following:

Read:

Proverbs 13:24, 22:15, 1:7, 29:15
Psalm 94:12
Hebrews 12:11

Draw your own conclusions from those as well as your personal experiences and make sure that it's not just a "whoopin" but that you speak to your children as well so they understand. Before you administer punishment, make sure you are calm enough to explain why first and then you will often find that you will not overdue the punishment. It is never good to act out in the heat of passion or out of anger.

Read James 1:20 or 1st Corinthians 10:31 for guidance on the latter part of that discertation.

Mr. Harris

Celebration · 10-05-2008, 11:47 PM

I'm really against punishing children, regardless of weather or not the bible condones it. So I'm biased, of course.

Spanking is another issue that tends to keep me in fear of developing a relationship with other Christians because my relatives who are Christian were always so brutal and disrespectful of their children, treating them like little animals. "Obey without question", "fear me if you make a mistake", "we aren't on the same side"... that is what I think spanking teaches children based on the feedback from my grown relatives. I just wasn't around healthy Christians as a child, so I'm sure that didn't help.

One of the most profound parenting books I have ever read is called "Aware Baby". It doesn't have much to do with religion but it moved me on a spiritual level, if that makes sense. I am definitely a more loving, more tolerant parent because I read it.

Maggie

Duo · 10-06-2008, 12:04 AM

Beating kids teaches them respect, true story.

Ruzan · 10-06-2008, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celebration

I'm really against punishing children, regardless of weather or not the bible condones it. So I'm biased, of course.

Maggie, I have seen parents like this before. They are on the Maury show and crying while their 13 year old beats them in front of a live studio audience.

[CryingMom2202]: "What can I do Maury, he wont stop"
[Spoilednhappy26]: /pulls moms hair
[M.Povich1337]: "......Jaquan, you ARE the father"
[Jaquan]: /dance 3 -Flourish

wait... what was I trying to prove there?

I am 100% not calling you a bad parent, I'm just stating that it is wrong NOT to punish your children.

Quote:

"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

A good site that talks all about it.
Spare the rod, spoil the child

the_zeeba · 10-06-2008, 08:01 AM

I was spanked as a kid growing up, but always in love. And i could tell. Not once did my parents hit me out of anger or frustration. I think there is def a thin line between spanking/disciplining a child and beating them. But as has been posted, its a line which the Bible calls me to walk and God will empower me to walk it.

Ruzan · 10-06-2008, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_zeeba

I think there is def a thin line between spanking/disciplining a child and beating them.

Oh yes, you bring up a really good point zeeba! Spanking out of love and being beaten are WORLDS apart. A father who whips his child to teach him that there are consequences to acting out/stealing/ect. is totally different in contrast to the father who had a bad day at work and you happened to spill your juice on the carpet.

Lewz · 10-06-2008, 02:59 PM

I agree with alot of the posts, i dont think spanking is wrong and ill prolly spank my kids when necessary. But i think its something to use sparingly, if you have to use it all the time it seems that as a parent your doing something wrong.

I would love to never spank my kid if i had any, my dad used to hate it, ruined his day as much as mine. But i think as far as discipline its neccesary.

Celebration · 10-06-2008, 02:59 PM

Structure, boundaries, and consequences are really important. One way to communicate those things is through spanking, but there are other non-punative ways of accomplishing the same thing.

For example, my children recently left one of their expensive Wii games on the floor against our rules. I explained to them that if they do so it might get ruined and that I did not have the money in our budget this month to replace it. Well they kept leaving it on the floor, and it eventually got scratched, and now they can't play it.

They are really upset about it. I won't get them a new one, because I can't. So now they are upset and processing the consequences, probably just as upset as if I had spanked them for not following the rules.

Personally, I have not been around any families who spank who are also able to do so out of love. I can imagine how it would be a loving thing, but like I said these people are not exactly what I would consider healthy Christians. They just spanked abusively and felt as though it was their right because they had permission from the bible.

Londie · 10-06-2008, 03:18 PM

Like some others here, I was spanked as a child too. Hand, switch, belt, whatever. Never once did I think or did my parents give the impression that it was out of pure anger or frustration. It was always out of love. They HATED spanking me, and usually went off to cry afterward. I see nothing wrong with it, but you do have to be careful not to cross that very thin line between correction and abuse. My son, who will be four in November, has been spanked but never, ever, out of anger.

10-05-2008, 01:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
Lewz Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Boston Posts: 154 My Photos: (0)	Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline Should we as Christians, spank/hit/beat/whoop/laythesmackdown, on our children when there acting up. As a product of spanking and occasionally "THE BELT", I don't have to much issue with physcially discipling children. I think there is a line btw disciplining and beating you kids and it shouldn't be crossed. How do you guys feel about it? If you believe in the above, would you treat a son and daughter alike? Is there some acts that should never be done? Etc Etc

10-05-2008, 10:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mr. Harris Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: United States Posts: 57 My Photos: (0)	Re: Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline I will suggest the following: Read: Proverbs 13:24, 22:15, 1:7, 29:15 Psalm 94:12 Hebrews 12:11 Draw your own conclusions from those as well as your personal experiences and make sure that it's not just a "whoopin" but that you speak to your children as well so they understand. Before you administer punishment, make sure you are calm enough to explain why first and then you will often find that you will not overdue the punishment. It is never good to act out in the heat of passion or out of anger. Read James 1:20 or 1st Corinthians 10:31 for guidance on the latter part of that discertation. Mr. Harris

10-05-2008, 11:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
Celebration Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 20 My Photos: (0)	Re: Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline I'm really against punishing children, regardless of weather or not the bible condones it. So I'm biased, of course. Spanking is another issue that tends to keep me in fear of developing a relationship with other Christians because my relatives who are Christian were always so brutal and disrespectful of their children, treating them like little animals. "Obey without question", "fear me if you make a mistake", "we aren't on the same side"... that is what I think spanking teaches children based on the feedback from my grown relatives. I just wasn't around healthy Christians as a child, so I'm sure that didn't help. One of the most profound parenting books I have ever read is called "Aware Baby". It doesn't have much to do with religion but it moved me on a spiritual level, if that makes sense. I am definitely a more loving, more tolerant parent because I read it. Maggie

10-06-2008, 12:04 AM	#4 (permalink)
Duo Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 135 My Photos: (0)	Re: Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline Beating kids teaches them respect, true story. __________________ Lewz and Jesus are my homeboys. "Imagination and Memory are but one thing, which for diverse considerations have diverse names."

10-06-2008, 08:01 AM	#6 (permalink)
the_zeeba Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 119 My Photos: (1)	Re: Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline I was spanked as a kid growing up, but always in love. And i could tell. Not once did my parents hit me out of anger or frustration. I think there is def a thin line between spanking/disciplining a child and beating them. But as has been posted, its a line which the Bible calls me to walk and God will empower me to walk it. __________________ evidence cannot create faith; it can only confirm it

10-06-2008, 02:59 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lewz Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Boston Posts: 154 My Photos: (0)	Re: Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline I agree with alot of the posts, i dont think spanking is wrong and ill prolly spank my kids when necessary. But i think its something to use sparingly, if you have to use it all the time it seems that as a parent your doing something wrong. I would love to never spank my kid if i had any, my dad used to hate it, ruined his day as much as mine. But i think as far as discipline its neccesary.

10-06-2008, 02:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
Celebration Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 20 My Photos: (0)	Re: Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline Structure, boundaries, and consequences are really important. One way to communicate those things is through spanking, but there are other non-punative ways of accomplishing the same thing. For example, my children recently left one of their expensive Wii games on the floor against our rules. I explained to them that if they do so it might get ruined and that I did not have the money in our budget this month to replace it. Well they kept leaving it on the floor, and it eventually got scratched, and now they can't play it. They are really upset about it. I won't get them a new one, because I can't. So now they are upset and processing the consequences, probably just as upset as if I had spanked them for not following the rules. Personally, I have not been around any families who spank who are also able to do so out of love. I can imagine how it would be a loving thing, but like I said these people are not exactly what I would consider healthy Christians. They just spanked abusively and felt as though it was their right because they had permission from the bible.

10-06-2008, 03:18 PM	#10 (permalink)
Londie Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 77 My Photos: (0)	Re: Spanking/Hitting Children for Discipline Like some others here, I was spanked as a child too. Hand, switch, belt, whatever. Never once did I think or did my parents give the impression that it was out of pure anger or frustration. It was always out of love. They HATED spanking me, and usually went off to cry afterward. I see nothing wrong with it, but you do have to be careful not to cross that very thin line between correction and abuse. My son, who will be four in November, has been spanked but never, ever, out of anger. __________________ "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."